DISCLAIMER: FOR THE LEGALLY PARANOID AND COMICALLY CAUTIOUS

The questions provided here are for entertainment purposes only, much like how your cat watching you sleep is “just being affectionate” and not “plotting your demise.” Facts have been known to change faster than fashion trends in a teenager’s Instagram feed.

We make no guarantees that these conversation starters will result in unexpected friendships, spontaneous laughter, or the occasional coffee-through-nose situation.

By using these questions, you acknowledge that we cannot be held responsible for awkward silences, sudden realizations about your childhood, or learning that your therapist has a therapist who has a therapist. It’s also not our fault if you find out that your coworker collects vintage spoons; your cool friend still sleeps with a childhood stuffed animal named “Mr. Wigglesworth,” or that your date has named each of their houseplants after ex-partners.

Remember, truth is often stranger than fiction, but both can be more questionable than that mystery dish at the potluck and possibly give you diarrhea.

No conversations were harmed in the making of these questions, but several social anxieties were gently poked with a stick.

Use responsibly. Or don’t. We’re a disclaimer, not a cop.